The Light.
Lately, I have been so busy and hectic. I feel like my artwork has been on hold because I’ve been so busy. And now school is starting back up again…
But I’ve seen the light. And I want to reach it. My whole life has changed for the better. I really appreciate being alive in this present moment.
Gotta work even harder. Gotta grow stronger and get out of my comfort zone. I need to inspire.
Listening to my inner voice has been my greatest music.
Live a life of love so you can love the life you live.
true.
Source: gabebondoc
震災から一年。
時間が経つのは早い。でも時間っていうのは「今」っていうこと。今のために生きよう。良い人達は長く生きるとは限らない。去年だって良い人はたくさんいなくなったはず。「今」を楽しもう。「今」大切な人を大切にしよう。ありがとう神様。「今」を過ごしてることに感謝してます。
動く。走り出す。
Me.
I’ve learned a lot about myself since coming to Japan… I’ve realized that I don’t fit into a category or race of American or Japanese. My whole life, I’ve wondered exactly how Japanese I was because I knew that I didn’t completely fit in with the Caucasian Americans. Now I’ve realized that I truly am my own person with my own personality and my own beliefs. I am human.
But not only that aspect. I’ve realized that I do want to be an artist. but there were times where I was afraid to express myself because of what some other people might think of me… but that’s fading away. I’m starting to realize that life is short… and could be a lot shorter than I think.
I’d rather be truly loved by few for what I do even if I have haters, than to be just an average Joe to everybody. There’s been so many times where I’ve been inspired with many different emotions, that I want to share that feeling with others through art. I want to share the joy of feeling good or empowered.
And writing this blog has been a big part of finding myself too. I’m sure we all have different personalities and we act differently around different people, but deep down, the core “me” is the me when I am writing on this blog. These are my deep thoughts inside that people get to read about and understand. I get to express myself to others without any distractions, interruptions, and I don’t have to worry about being in the right atmosphere to express it. What I mean by that is, if I was trying to explain this to you face to face in a massively crowded train station, there would be so many distractions that my true feelings wouldn’t be conveyed completely and properly. This blog itself creates its own atmosphere.
And although, I am always myself while I’m laughing or making jokes, this is the deep “me” behind all the jokes I say. This is my heart, not my head. This is the “me” that appreciates the little things in life.
I still remember a dream I had during the beginning of the year. I was on the street at night and a man had a loaded gun pointed to my head, and he asked me, “Any last words?” I truly thought it was the end for me. And although, I’m not very religious, I do believe that there is a God out there. I had to sum up all of my thoughts quickly and convey what really mattered to me before that trigger was going to be pulled, and without hesitation the words that came out of my mouth were, “I love you God.” and then he pulled the trigger and I felt my head drop to the side. And a few seconds later, just as I thought I was really dead, I woke up gasping for air, and there I was in my bed.
Nightmare? I think not. It was a blessing. A chance to realize what is truly important to me in life… which is Love. The love I have for my family, the love I have for the special people close to me, the love I have for my friends, the love I have for living things and this world, and the love I have for myself and my life.
It’s time to stop chasing my dreams… and start leading them. I need to live in the present moment because it is my future.
This might not have made complete sense to all of you because I literally just blurted all this out on my keyboard. But if you did understand any of it…… this is ME.
Transformation?
What is this new person that I see?
My dad called me out of nowhere today, telling me that he was in Tokyo. Asked if I had any plans, and I didn’t have any big plans so he said let’s go out for lunch. lol I said sure.
But lately it seems that every time I see my dad, I see someone a little different. I see a little more joy in his step, a little more spark. We went to eat some awesome “tonkatsu” and got to just talk again. I’ve realized he really knows a lot about business. He’s got the mindset… and he’s been trying to teach me all these years. I still have a lot to learn but, I’ll learn that through acting on my own.
He made me think, “how I am I going to raise my own kids”. “Am I gonna be saying the same things?” “Will my kids, understand where I’m coming from?” I’m 24 and I’m just now starting to realize a lot of the feelings that he’s been trying to tell me behind his words ever since I was a kid.
But that’s not the part of him that I think has transformed. I see a warmer heart, and a more natural smile. Maybe a bigger grasp on life… maybe he carried this all along because it always seems like he does things for a reason, but he is able to express it more. And I think it has something to do with my grandpa, and him being able to spend time with my grandpa before he passed.
I remember specifically my dad joking about how he always buys chocolate from a specific chocolate shop in tokyo for my mom. And he was reminiscing about how my mom was bugging him to take her to that shop when she was here in December. lol The way he talks about it… I can tell he loves her. and I love that. Lately, he’s been inspiring me every time I see him. He’s spreading more love and laughter.
I have learned so much about my family and relatives ever since coming to Japan. and I realized how blessed I am to have my immediate family. I love them and I want to create a family that spreads just as much love and even more… once I find the girl.
And just at a time when I was trying to lie to myself that I didn’t need love… It’s things like this that make me realize that I do need it in life. And that love within a family and love between me loving a girl is the same. Because over time, that love between two people spreads to their kids and their whole family.
Dear Mom, Dad, and Reina,
I love you all.
Issei
Behind any face I make in front of you… is a face that’s cheesin’ from cheek to cheek.
Thanks Dad.
My dad flew down to Tokyo to celebrate my birthday and a little something else today. But there’s just been a lot on my mind lately. And when I saw him, it was hard for me to be as open as I usually am, not really sure why, but nonetheless, he seemed quite cheerful. Almost a little too cheerful lol. But it felt good… because I see a bit of a different man when I look at him now… in a good way.
In a good way because the man who stood above me my whole life who always critiqued me for my flaws and never complimented me… shows his pride in me now… He compliments me more now… He gives me confidence that I didn’t have as a kid.
I wasn’t expected anything very special today because I’ve had dinner with my dad plenty of times while we were on the road for my hockey trips in the past. But today, he took me to eat some amazing steak. Not the type of steak you see in the states. I’m talking about Japanese style marble steak cooked medium rare and just melts in your mouth type steak. Definitely on the pricey side. But all I can say is that it felt great to spend some quality time with him and have a few good laughs. I needed it.
These kind of things make me realize that a family bond is stronger than we realize. And the strength of that bond comes from Love.
おやじ。。。ありがとう。
My Birthday…
I didn’t know how it was going to turn out. I actually thought it was going to be a boring birthday. Didn’t have any plans. Just thought it was going to be the same old same old. Nothing really exciting to look forward to…
Until I got a call from a friend. Nothing major but she just needed some guidance on buying a Macbook, so I helped out and tagged along with her to the store to help her…
And it felt good… It felt good to just be around her again. To laugh and make stupid jokes like we always do. All I can say is that it made my day. She ended up buying her Macbook Pro and we got some lunch (some bomb ass katsu sandwich!) We even looked around at some audio mics and keyboards and such.
And then we headed to a guitar shop. I’ve been wanting to buy a guitar for a while now… and today just felt right. I knew for sure that I wanted to buy it today. So I purchased my first ever guitar. I’ve been playing and cradling it all night. I want to get better. I want to create art and express my thoughts in my own way.
Later, we were invited to go eat all-you-can-eat food, cake and sweets. And the chemistry within the group we went with was a bit odd but that’s what made everything so funny. I had a lot of laughs.
All in all, it was a memorable birthday. We got to hang out all day and joke around, I got to be with her when she bought her Macbook Pro, she was with me when I bought my guitar, and we had lots of laughs eating cake.
Thank you. It’s time for me to start my journey of reaching my goals.
As I was looking through random dance videos that I haven’t seen on youtube, I found an amazing dancer. She happened to be Japanese too. I was watching the video on her own youtube channel. Although her dance style is kind of feminine, there’s no doubt that her precision and explosiveness are top notch. And as the video was ending with the credits, the message she left to the viewers of the video was, “Thanks for watching… with my BIG LOVE”.
And she even used those words on a few more of her recent videos too. Maybe influenced by the same person? I don’t know.
but either way… coincidence? again??
